it's one of those blazingly bright days, reminiscent of when they first met. she's unaware that he's seen her, transfixed as if he's seen a ghost. but she does look up to finally see him. and after what feels like an eternity has passed, there's a certain sense of...weird. (hollow yet strangely fulfilling). they'd both thought about this happening, dreamed about it even. chance encounter of what would never be. but people change, and their dreams do too.
her hair's the same, maybe just a little thinner & lighter. her face is rounder and she has a tired look to her. but her eyes, no, those hadn't changed. surrounded by dainty wrinkles now, those were the eyes he'd never forgotten nor will he ever. he was haunted by those eyes that seemed to light up now as she strolled over to him. as if he'd never done what he did, as if she never cried like she had out of those very same eyes. he looked older too, more distinguished but just as tired as he'd always been. more gray in his robust beard, eyes just as dead as they'd always been. but it was him alright. awkward hug, pleasant small talk, the things they'd both once loathed. funny how time makes you change, makes you grow up. she's married now to a lovely man, 2 kids with another on the way. he's engaged to the love of his life that, as life would have it, wasn't her.
it's surreal, unreal, too real.
in another version of this, you tell me how you made a mistake all those years ago and it was the biggest regret of your life. We kiss and make up or I slap you in the face and walk away. In another, we're both already dead and then there's the one where we're too cowardly to even say hello. and then there's the reality that the whole scenario will never happen in the first place.
and then there's goodbye.
more, more, more. i'm unsatiable. is that good or bad? i'm rambling again. i do that a lot, get used to it. two of them caught my attention today, the poems i mean. they're dramatic and annoying but oh so deep and enlightening. dangerous combination. i don't know. that's the motto of my life, i don't know i don't know i don't know. maybe i'll never know. maybe i'm okay with that. but what i'm hoping, what i'm praying is that i'm on the edge. the edge of something new, something undiscovered, something incredible. or something devastating. devastatingly beautiful. wrap me up in lavender thunder. i read that once, years ago. somewhere. i can't remember anymore. i hope it's not copyrighted. i think i'll go now. 