Existence;

when there's nothing else to do.

Boy Meets Girl;

it was all very typical. boy sees girl, girl sees boy. they were at a party or a concert, somewhere loud; the where and whens aren't important anymore. to be honest, a lot about that night is long forgotten, except for when he took that final swig of his drink, as if it would boost his confidence somehow, shrugged off his letter-man jacket and made his way over to the girl with big hair & big eyes in a cotton dress and black tights. she looked up at him & smiled and it warmed every inch of his soul, made him crave more. if just her smile has me shaking, he thought. they made their way to somewhere quiet, "to talk" he said. but, the funny thing was, he couldn't think of anything to say when he finally got her alone. he could only stare at the scattered freckles on her nose, the chocolate curls framing her soft face, the fierceness in her eyes as she stole glances at him. she didn't look him in the eye, somehow always alluding his gaze. eventually she piped up.
"i like your shirt", she said. he looked down and smirked.
"yea? i like it too", he says. he liked it more now that she did.

so, guess i should warn you," she says. "i'm not your typical girl."
"and who said i'm your typical boy?"
from there on, it was easy. the words flowed and he got to look into those magnificent eyes of hers, like windows looking out onto a world he'd never understand. in those timeless moments, he realized he was falling in love. falling, head first, stumbling over all logic, in love with a girl, a person he had never met before, had never spoken to before tonight. would life ever be the same? was this what love did? did he even believe in love before seeing her lips curl into a smile? hearing her obnoxiously adorable laugh? he didn't know and he didn't care.
"one last question, before we go", he asks.
"and what would that be?"
"give me something to walk away with, what's your take on tonight?", he says.
she let out a devilish laugh, and with a shrug of the shoulders, said, "you tell me." and with that, she kissed him, gently on the cheek and softly whispered in his ear, "see ya around." and then she skipped, yea she literally skipped, right out of that room or car or wherever they were. and that boy sat watching her go, head reeling, before he came to his senses and ran right out after her.

Oodles of Doodles;

i don't draw much (mostly because i'm not very good at it) but when i do, it's normally in class #verybadhabit; but anyway, this is one of my recents. it's sorta like when the rain's bringing you down or anything really, strut your stuff. remember that you're fabulous and you can handle anything and just rock who you are. This also may or may not be a self portrait...I'll get back to you on that.

Guess Who;

(first/last impressions)

• he had the most interesting name/ i found him on Instagram but couldn't manage to press the follow button
•  i beat him in a race and he cried/ i haven't seen him since
• she told me she was psychic/ she wrote me a letter goodbye
• she asked me if my people were evil/ she liked my profile picture on Facebook
• i told her a secret/ she didn't keep it 
• i wanted to be her when i grew up/ i follow her fashion blog
• i liked her purple hair and quirky attitude/ we could have been the best of friends
• her eyes were the biggest i had ever seen (and that's including my own)/ she just finished class (i have to include that she's my best friend or she'll never forgive me #hizee #shoutouttomyhomegirl)
•  100% thought she was conniving and two faced/ still do
• i don't remember/ she blocked me as if i was the one who did something wrong 
• he was zach braff's doppleganger/ i tried to help him get his girl back, but she was no longer his to keep
• i noticed the metal in his arm and his nervous smile/ i flew home 
• we met at a funeral/ i realized he was never going to become the man i wanted to marry
• he was a skinny boy on the beach with a goofy smile/ we lost touch
• i thought he was indian, but then i remembered we were in lebanon/ i broke his heart
• she had hair like mine and read just as fast as me/ we were hipster before hipster was even a thing
• he made a point/ he made his point
• she was effortlessly in love with what she did/ i got an A in her class 
• there was something about his eyes  + he bought me goldfish (bonus points)/ no amount of time travel can make you fall in love with someone
• i thought she was crazy/ turns out she actually is, but the good kind 
• i thought he was crazy/ turns out he is, but not the good kind
• he teased and borderline bullied me/ he's my homeboy now 
• we met in a taxi (very ethan hawke meets julie delpy a la before sunrise) and i thought, "why is this boy talking to me?"/ he didn't ask for my number
• he was a complete enigma/ still is
• he was always in the back of my mind/ he's all i think about

i think the point of all this is reflection. to reflect on past mistakes and realize that they were made for reasons we can't comprehend yet. you take what you can from them and trudge onwards through this messy life we'll never get used to and one day you'll reach a point and think back and say, "that's where it all fell into place."  at least that's what i think.

Moonlight;

Follow the moon to the heavens.
Let it guide you through the dark,
deep depths of your mind.
The moon is your friend, the night your disguise
It hides your fears & shadows your dismay.
Illuminating through the gloom, through the blackness.
Follow the moon to your heaven
because Lord knows,
it's time to leave.

Winter;

It's early morning. The rain's stopped to just a drizzle now, and it's a comforting back drop to the scene she's living. Pen in one hand, paper in the other. Hair up in that messy confusion of frizz and curls. If only the fire hadn't gone out. Bliss and perfection. Her legs curled up underneath her, maroon yarn wrapped tight as her mind begins to tumble and create. Sipping hot cocoa, warm and soothing. She's caught a marshmallow and a crystal laugh escapes her. These are the happy moments, these are the fleeting emotions.