Thoughts;

I haven't moved in hours. the rain falls outside my window, and i can see the drops racing down the glass around me. but i won't get up to find the winner. there's a steady playlist on right now, new bands i've discovered today and some i've turned to for years. the districts, cage the elephant, the killers, onerepublic, the damnwells..the list goes on and on and on. maybe i'll tell you about it some day. when it's not so gloomy outside, and the sun comes out to play. i've started some new books too. i never used to be able to read more than one at a time, but lately i'm changing it up. i want more, more knowledge, more wisdom, more perspective. some books just grab you, you know? i can't explain it really, i can't read it for you. you might not even like it, but then that's your problem not mine. i never used to like poetry either, but lately i've been reading more and more of it. maybe some more of that new something i'm always searching for. or it might be because they're so convenient, so short & sweet.
more, more, more. i'm unsatiable. is that good or bad? i'm rambling again. i do that a lot, get used to it. two of them caught my attention today, the poems i mean. they're dramatic and annoying but oh so deep and enlightening. dangerous combination. i don't know. that's the motto of my life, i don't know i don't know i don't know. maybe i'll never know. maybe i'm okay with that. but what i'm hoping, what i'm praying is that i'm on the edge. the edge of something new, something undiscovered, something incredible. or something devastating. devastatingly beautiful. wrap me up in lavender thunder. i read that once, years ago. somewhere. i can't remember anymore. i hope it's not copyrighted. i think i'll go now.

Hello;

Let's talk. But what to talk about? Rain and sunshine, storms and wars. It's a battle out there, stay and have a drink with me. What's your poison? Words, apathy, empathy? You tell me i'm pretty, i tell you you're not. i tell you to run away with me, and you tell me to go. it's an endless circle, vicious and cruel. emotions are a terrible thing. but they're the most wonderful. contradictions, paradoxes. play a song for me, i'll play one for you. ask me something and i'll reveal a secret. why won't you do the same? this is how the game goes. back and forth, push and pull. we're like the waves and the shores and the sun and the moon. it all fits together but somehow not at all. my head's a mess, it's a jungle in there. peek inside, do you? will you? who am i even talking to anymore?