Le Beirut;

That could have been me. 

Among the nurses working in the dark with nothing but flashlight to guide them.

Among the men and women grasping at the hands of those crushed around them.

Among the frightened and helpless and the brave and strong.

Yet here I am like so many others,

Children of the diaspora. 

Glued to screens, trapped across oceans and seas

But feeling every shard in our hearts. 

Immersing ourselves in guilt and shame for having ever left our homes. 

Homes that we grew to respect, to love, to cherish after years of tumultuous growth.

The city of lost youth, of bursting blooms, of endless nights under the stars

Art exploding on the walls of every zawarib, 

Stairs of turquoise, magenta, periwinkle blue 

Beirut ya Beirut 

My heart imploded with you 

My soul left behind in the soil of your earth now scattered across the land

My heart imploded with you

We shook and trembled with you, 

In Mourning we stand 

Watching from behind a glass wall as if trapped in a haze.

I await the day Beirut where you will rise again, 

The Phoenix in all its glory

Magnanimous.

Majestic. 

Magnificent once more.

Free.

Ten;

(i just wish i had some place else to move

to tell you the truth)

but isn't home just a state of mind?

oceans unknown, but i think i'd swim them for you.

all hallow's eve:

the night looms on/ 

it's cold now.

the sun blinds those who look too closely,

but the warmth that kisses her skin will always linger.

if we're being honest, it's all jumbled in my head a little

i left my heart behind in another land, buried my soul in the soil and walked away.

and still I wander through this maze, still I wonder what is a body without its core?

open wounds/ tears in the dark/ a smile for the camera

where will you lay your head for the night?

the cedars are burning/ 

the people will fight 

either you're in or out

i beg. i beg. i beg.

i can't stop running and i'm running out of places to run to

ground me 

(eyes lock)

but you let her go

Nine;

ya zaman, ya zaman, ya zaman

oh father time, she says

won't you slow down for me?

i don't think He can 

even if He wanted to

the oud is strung while the dervishes spin

&

there's little lines where her smile fades

but the mischievousness never will

grandmothers/grandfathers and all the love they'll never show

from a world her children do not know

from a world her parents were never from

(oh, generations)

your oriental mind weighs heavy now

the burden of another Atlas, they say

running/run/running

did you stop to see his smile in the sun?

there's a laugh carried by the wind 

i hear it now.

i see what i couldn't before,

the blur comes to a halt;

and there you are in front of me

and there i am in front of you.

Six;

1) sunshine
creep inside me: explosion/implosion/delusion
it's a new day.
or so we thought?
a (false) sense of hope/ a (ray) of light
while you sit and wait for time to change your luck
i'm blinded.
moving in slow motion; blink &
it's a new day.
don't take yourself so seriously. 
the echoes. are echoing.
& the darkness will always be there.
it's a new day
how long can you wait for the one you deserve?
lifetimes.
either way, it's a new day;

2) my sense of wonder's just a little tired. 
& I won't lie, it kind of always is.
somedays I wake up & I know this isn't home.
somedays I wake up & I know this is where i'm meant to be.
fluidity.
a nomad, lost.
a nomad, found.
open heart. open mind.
engulfed spirit.
daughter of the moon & the mind.
see i'm in love with how your soul's a mix of art & chaos/
& how you never try to keep them apart;

3) longing for the day
it will all make sense
the lilies are in bloom/
the tide hits the shore.
beam down
ancient woes, glory be
soft smiles, hopeful smiles, wonderous smiles.
& though the fear in my heart still drives me over the edge
it's a new day;