tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29927611097465457132024-02-19T04:34:07.805-08:00mixtapes&heartaches;wrap me up in lavender thunder;Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.comBlogger75125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-26802494127772399202020-08-06T09:05:00.004-07:002020-08-15T15:12:22.672-07:00Le Beirut;<div style="text-align: center;">That could have been me. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Among the nurses working in the dark with nothing but flashlight to guide them.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Among the men and women grasping at the hands of those crushed around them.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Among the frightened and helpless and the brave and strong.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Yet here I am like so many others,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Children of the diaspora. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Glued to screens, trapped across oceans and seas</div><div style="text-align: center;">But feeling every shard in our hearts. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Immersing ourselves in guilt and shame for having ever left our homes. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Homes that we grew to respect, to love, to cherish after years of tumultuous growth.</div><div style="text-align: center;">The city of lost youth, of bursting blooms, of endless nights under the stars</div><div style="text-align: center;">Art exploding on the walls of every zawarib, </div><div style="text-align: center;">Stairs of turquoise, magenta, periwinkle blue </div><div style="text-align: center;">Beirut ya Beirut </div><div style="text-align: center;">My heart imploded with you </div><div style="text-align: center;">My soul left behind in the soil of your earth now scattered across the land</div><div style="text-align: center;">My heart imploded with you</div><div style="text-align: center;">We shook and trembled with you, </div><div style="text-align: center;">In Mourning we stand </div><div style="text-align: center;">Watching from behind a glass wall as if trapped in a haze.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I await the day Beirut where you will rise again, </div><div style="text-align: center;">The Phoenix in all its glory</div><div style="text-align: center;">Magnanimous.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Majestic. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Magnificent once more.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Free.</div>Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-24776657293606739862019-12-26T17:44:00.000-08:002019-12-26T18:03:51.301-08:00Twelve;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>we came/ we saw/ we loved/ we left</i><br />
this was the year of growth.<br />
spread your roots/ sprout towards the stars<br />
the imagery of what has transpired<br />
lightning sparks<br />
nostalgia waves<br />
so many moons, so many songs in the night;<br />
driving in cars with boys<br />
<i>sing me sweetly, swing me deeply</i><br />
the rain is falling and I will do nothing to stop<br />
the drops on my lashes from drowning me.<br />
i reach my hand out<br />
& i realize it'll only ever meet my own.<br />
this was the year of growth.<br />
and my, how we've grown. </div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-52257870433952284112019-11-19T13:38:00.000-08:002019-11-21T13:44:33.630-08:00Eleven;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>i'm restless </i></div>
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<i>i'm restless</i></div>
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<i>i'm restless</i></div>
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<i>for whatever comes next;</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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how rich you must feel, enveloped in the arms that will never let you go/</div>
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how enlightened i feel for having witnessed anything at all;</div>
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treasured. withered. evolved. </div>
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i'll tell you a secret, </div>
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(<i>come a little closer now</i>)</div>
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there will always be something standing in your way,</div>
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until there's not.</div>
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<br /></div>
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the winds blew her to smithereens.</div>
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the rain battered her down.</div>
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the ice cemented in her bloodstream.</div>
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such sad brown eyes</div>
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but a better lover there never was.</div>
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a better love there never was.</div>
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<i>twisted silence/please decipher</i></div>
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<i></i>until she woke up anyway.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<i>you're okay, you're okay, you're okay. </i></div>
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i'll tell you another secret:</div>
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we haven't the faintest idea of how it will all turn out,</div>
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if anything i only become more confused with each year added to my life.</div>
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but we're becoming so much more, so much more.</div>
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and yes, i</div>
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fall apart a little bit every day, </div>
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but i</div>
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am struggling gracefully </div>
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and i</div>
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am growing magnanimously. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<i>muscle memory. </i></div>
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<i></i><br /></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/CMWcQ3rbxro" width="480"></iframe></div>
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Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-56807279202870610082019-10-31T19:28:00.000-07:002019-10-31T20:20:52.919-07:00Ten;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>(i just wish i had some place else to move</i></div>
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<i>to tell you the truth)</i></div>
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but isn't home just a state of mind?</div>
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oceans unknown, but i think i'd swim them for you.</div>
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all hallow's eve:</div>
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the night looms on/ </div>
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it's cold now.</div>
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the sun blinds those who look too closely,</div>
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but the warmth that kisses her skin will always linger.</div>
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if we're being honest, it's all jumbled in my head a little</div>
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i left my heart behind in another land, buried my soul in the soil and walked away.</div>
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and still I wander through this maze, still I wonder what is a body without its core?</div>
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open wounds/ tears in the dark/ a smile for the camera</div>
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where will you lay your head for the night?</div>
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the cedars are burning/ </div>
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the people will fight </div>
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<i>either you're in or out</i></div>
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i beg. i beg. i beg.</div>
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i can't stop running and i'm running out of places to run to</div>
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ground me </div>
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(eyes lock)</div>
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<i>but you let her go</i></div>
</div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-80204585466834530822019-09-26T15:47:00.000-07:002019-09-26T16:54:04.579-07:00Nine;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">ya zaman, ya zaman, ya zaman</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">oh father time, she says</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">won't you slow down for me?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">i don't think He can </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">even if He wanted to</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">the oud is strung while the dervishes spin</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">&</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">there's little lines where her smile fades</span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">but the mischievousness never will</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">grandmothers/grandfathers and all the love they'll never show</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">from a world her children do not know</span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">from a world her parents were never from</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">(oh, generations)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">your oriental mind weighs heavy now</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">the burden of another Atlas, they say</span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">running/run/running</span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">did you stop to see his smile in the sun?</span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">there's a laugh carried by the wind </span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">i hear it now.</span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">i see what i couldn't before,</span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">the blur comes to a halt;</span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">and there you are in front of me</span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">and there i am in front of you.</span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/HDkIHE2n8cY" width="480"></iframe></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br /></div>
</div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-28483901572790684382019-08-29T13:27:00.000-07:002019-08-29T13:27:03.682-07:00Eight;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
back.<br />
back in your mother's arms.<br />
jolt back to a different time/<br />
strolling through the markets of your heart.<br />
heart<br />
conflicted hearts,<br />
& damaged souls.<br />
wistful dreams,<br />
& mischievous adventures.<br />
the future is yet to come they say but look he's at the door.<br />
wedding cakes&birthday cakes;<br />
they all taste much too sweet.<br />
we are youth.<br />
we are the youth.<br />
we are youth.<br />
and as the sun comes out to say farewell,<br />
she's back again.<br />
back where you needed to be/<br />
back as if she'd never left/<br />
she is home.<br />
<br /></div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-33233145135098442332019-07-23T13:15:00.001-07:002019-07-28T11:48:26.254-07:00Seven;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
we love but are not loved back<br />
in the way we deserve<br />
we give<br />
all<br />
we are consumed<br />
complete me<br />
we are no more than destroyed<br />
hearts<br />
and still we search<br />
and still we search<br />
and still we search<br />
still we love<br />
for what is a life without love?<br />
<br /></div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-27961748583485189902019-06-27T19:40:00.000-07:002019-07-02T14:47:32.483-07:00Six;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
1) sunshine<br />
creep inside me: explosion/implosion/delusion<br />
it's a new day.<br />
or so we thought?<br />
a (false) sense of hope/ a (ray) of light<br />
<i>while you sit and wait for time to change your luck</i><br />
i'm blinded.<br />
moving in slow motion; blink &<br />
it's a new day.<br />
<i>don't take yourself so seriously. </i><br />
the echoes. are echoing.<br />
& the darkness will always be there.<br />
it's a new day<br />
<i>how long can you wait for the one you deserve?</i><br />
lifetimes.<br />
either way, it's a new day;<br />
<br />
2) <i>my sense of wonder's just a little tired. </i><br />
<i></i>& I won't lie, it kind of always is.<br />
somedays I wake up & I know this isn't home.<br />
somedays I wake up & I know this is where i'm meant to be.<br />
fluidity.<br />
a nomad, lost.<br />
a nomad, found.<br />
open heart. open mind.<br />
engulfed spirit.<br />
daughter of the moon & the mind.<br />
<i>see i'm in love with how your soul's a mix of art & chaos</i>/<br />
<i>& how you never try to keep them apart;</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
3) longing for the day<br />
it will all make sense<br />
the lilies are in bloom/<br />
the tide hits the shore.<br />
beam down<br />
ancient woes, glory be <br />
soft smiles, hopeful smiles, wonderous smiles.<br />
<i>& though the fear in my heart still drives me over the edg</i>e<br />
it's a new day;<br />
<u><span style="color: #0b0714; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"></span></u><br /></div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-15700233633249057092019-05-26T15:54:00.000-07:002019-05-27T11:00:51.154-07:00Five;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>so today I wrote a song for you</i><br />
you'll never hear it but maybe you'll read this<br />
wishful thinking?<br />
<br />
I don't know I guess I thought we'd run into each other eventually<br />
maybe there's still time//no need anymore<br />
<i>funny how things work</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
someone called me lovely once, but it wasn't you<br />
blessed be the broken/<br />
blessed be the ones who broke us<br />
<br />
<i>what's on your mind? </i><br />
i couldn't tell you even if i tried<br />
<br />
<i>i rest on childhood memories </i><br />
<i>we all got old at breakneck speed</i><br />
<i>slow it down, go easy on me </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
I've got so many memories & no where to put them.<br />
<br />
momentum's building, isn't it?<br />
<br />
i'm not okay, but i will be.<br />
<i>down, down in my bones</i><br />
<i></i><i></i>i'll always be just fine.<br />
<br /></div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-20486102442684695742019-04-28T15:51:00.002-07:002019-04-28T15:51:29.376-07:00Four;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
i was only playing with the moon<br />let me inhale your spirit.<br />exhume your soul.<br />betray me. <br />l.<br />
o.<br />
v.<br />
e.<br />
me.<br />fear me.<br />look me in the eye & make me believe;<br />there's no more to life than what we perceive<br />there's more to life than what we see<br /><i>but i, i've got </i><br />
<i>a war on my mind/</i><br />a world on my shoulders<br />a wounded heart.<br />(ego)<br />meditation meditate meditation <br />for semblance <br />of peace of mind.<br />i let my mind wander & it never came back.<br />and after it all,<br />i was only playing with the moon. <br /></div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-37871980959798744202019-03-27T16:28:00.000-07:002019-03-27T16:36:14.429-07:00Three; <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
it's a whole other world out there. </div>
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unprecedented rage/</div>
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the children asked for none of this</div>
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fire in their lungs/</div>
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strength in their fight.</div>
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there's empathy here;</div>
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a power from deep within. </div>
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<i style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I wanna be king in your story</i></div>
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but I'm already the Queen.</div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br /></div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-77376190940154087152019-02-16T14:12:00.003-08:002019-02-16T14:12:56.759-08:00Two;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
what a blessed & beautiful year it's been.<br />
meetings in the moonlight/<br />
dancing in the starlight;<br />
laughter in the wind<br />
planes in the sky<br />
loves&losses<br />
tears/smiles.<br />
up & down we go,<br />
hellos & goodbyes.<br />
<i>here comes the sun.</i><br />
<i></i>but truly, honestly, deeply<br />
what a lovely time to have been alive. </div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-47225863742577358392019-01-03T13:06:00.000-08:002019-10-03T16:02:36.228-07:00One;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<i>I always felt that it was wrong/to lay my world in foreign hands</i></div>
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</span></div>
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<i></i>it all got mixed up in my head,</div>
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</span></div>
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move here/ move there/ move</div>
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</span></div>
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sun. shadow. sand. snow.</div>
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</span></div>
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confuddled.</div>
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</span></div>
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who are you going to be?</div>
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</span></div>
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a solid question, she says/</div>
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</span></div>
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any answers? look the other way;</div>
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</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "quot"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">I see a way out & I can hear an echo that begs to be followed</span></div>
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</span></div>
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that's</div>
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</span></div>
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a </div>
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</span></div>
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lot</div>
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</span></div>
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of </div>
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</span></div>
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question</div>
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</span></div>
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marks</div>
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</span></div>
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I don't have anything figured out, but does it matter anymore?</div>
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</span></div>
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i'm sure no one has anything figured out</div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #333333; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
</span></div>
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that's the only thing I do know, really.</div>
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</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "quot"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">I see a way out & I can see the sun on the horizon </span><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #333333; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
</span></div>
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just call me foreigner;</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br /></div>
</div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-2004394702289006222018-11-12T18:25:00.000-08:002018-11-16T16:41:34.835-08:00I Don’t Know;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
Sometimes I think of you.<br />
Sometimes I forget you existed.<br />
Sometimes the books are enough & sometimes they’re not.<br />
Sometimes I sit & sing along to all the songs that make my heart ache/<br />
Sometimes I dance.<br />
<br />
And life is hard sometimes. Things happen that you can’t plan for, things happen to the ones you love and some things make you see it all through his eyes.<br />
People grow apart/ people make mistakes/ the flower blooms & then there’s the moon.<br />
And you grow and you grow and you grow but somehow you’re still the smallest person in the room.<br />
<br />
But he’s sick and there’s nothing I can do about it.<br />
But he’s leaving me and there’s nothing I will do to stop it.<br />
And he’s crippled by life without her but she’s the goldest hour.<br />
<br />
There she is. glorious/ petrified/ stupefied/ magnanimous. but there she is.<br />
<br />
I can’t breathe; I can’t breathe; I can’t breathe. And guess again, I can’t breathe.<br />
<br />
<i>(You’ve been here before)</i><br />
<br />
It’s not that serious anyway.<br />
<br /></div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-39528553355699893432018-04-08T19:01:00.000-07:002018-04-08T19:01:39.718-07:00She's Thunderstorms; <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: center;">
breathe.</div>
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breathe.</div>
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breathe.</div>
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have you inhaled me in yet?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
toxic fumes/ or so they say,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
who am i to talk?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>baby, i'd rather be hard to love </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>than easy to leave.</i></div>
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<br /></div>
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the world's moving in slow motion.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
freeze frame. eyes meet.</div>
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we've sped up now.</div>
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<i>but i got news for you, i came broken.</i></div>
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rain fall/</div>
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i guess <strike>you</strike> i let go. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/REyxoxScrbU" width="480"></iframe></div>
</div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-13100654813187738672018-02-16T12:58:00.000-08:002018-02-16T12:58:53.704-08:00Salone;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
i miss the red dust.<br />
all these pitstops on this planet,<br />
all the crowds i've known,<br />
all these makeshift memories.<br />
<i>say you're not gonna leave me</i><br />
<i>this place is right where you need to be.</i><br />
i'm leaving now,<br />
but i'll always miss the red dust of those old roads. </div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-44776568589276811822017-10-28T06:05:00.000-07:002017-10-28T06:05:07.533-07:00Restless;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<i>Witness me<br />
Like fire weeping from a cedar tree;</i><br />
The time has come for different things.<br />
Enriching? Damning? I cannot say but darling, it's all about to change.<br />
Somewhere to your right, she dives into the deep, blue sea.<br />
Somewhere to your left, she bounds into the deep, blue sky.<br />
And right in front of you, she sheds the ashes & bursts into flames.<br />
Take me home:<br />
Phoenix. </div>
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Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-16215807341472042952017-08-16T13:13:00.000-07:002017-08-30T11:00:46.525-07:00Forever Dancing With The Devil;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
it's been a while.<br />
shy smiles & reminisces. but maybe not so shy anymore.<br />
i think we've all grown up a little more than we thought we would need to, a little faster than we'd imagined we would.<br />
but it's been fun, hasn't it? look me in the eye and tell me this wasn't the year of your life.<br />
weren't they all?<br />
maybe i'm thinking too much. maybe i'm not thinking enough.<br />
<i>we'll be just fine, we'll be just fine, we'll be just fine...i know we will. i just know we will.</i><br />
it's me before you, but you're standing before me.<br />
we're on the edge, and the adrenaline is coursing.<br />
you step back & i soar;<br />
i guess all i needed was a little nudge to fly.<br />
<br />
احب نفسك اولا</div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-467315733760779292017-04-05T08:16:00.001-07:002017-04-05T08:16:42.717-07:00Trial & Error;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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one day, i'll be able to explain it all to you,</div>
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but today is not that day;</div>
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Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-40423685735919668702017-02-06T03:47:00.000-08:002017-03-08T10:06:39.507-08:00Saturn;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
in the blink of an eye, it's all morphed. i went back a full year later, and it was no longer the safe haven i'd known, the pub on the corner where i got over it all/him. closed; opened; new. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>time is shiftable,</i> & i've used that before. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
walk with me, won't you?<i> slow dancing in a burning room. </i>memory lane is crumbling with every step; it's all illuminated now when i look back and see your smile. is that a glint of madness in your eye? it matches mine. </div>
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mischief & magic;</div>
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daylight's imploding into the night sky's stars. </div>
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"don't be so cynical," he says. we're still dancing and the room is on fire and you're explaining the infinite.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>how rare & beautiful it is to even exist/</i></div>
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<i>i couldn't help but ask for you to say it all again/</i></div>
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<i>i tried to write it down but i could never find a pen/</i></div>
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<i>i'd give anything to hear you say it one more time/</i></div>
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<i>that the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes;</i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
everything changes but somehow we're all still exactly the same, exactly where we need to be. i didn't know it while it was melting all around me but the year that just happened was the year of a lifetime. truly/ brutally/ honestly. </div>
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but nothing baffled me more than seeing you at the end of that crumpled, bashed down little road. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>"hello my old heart," </i>he says. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>SMILE. SHIFT. REPEAT. </i></div>
</div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-73876145265932656662017-01-08T14:46:00.001-08:002017-01-10T11:50:46.308-08:00Expectations;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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this. this is important. it's all i've ever asked for, it's all i ever wanted. call it daddy issues/ constant+crippling fear of abandonment. we're getting real here, the dirty truth. it's my one vice, my one request. <br />
show<br />
up; <br />
and i'll be waiting.<br />
</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9sNpqPNpS7tQr7hhZgFL7xrRQwawp4hDcuPnGyIb85ogCAPe2PPLlJyrYrAzkhQBhyeSjk7dD6EcEeUP1777MngIMA3BVXLAZqd7I3a9Atj3DZy1Yj1WSIwq4WzW6TMH0nJFFwM_o8Ao/s1600/20170109_004058.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9sNpqPNpS7tQr7hhZgFL7xrRQwawp4hDcuPnGyIb85ogCAPe2PPLlJyrYrAzkhQBhyeSjk7dD6EcEeUP1777MngIMA3BVXLAZqd7I3a9Atj3DZy1Yj1WSIwq4WzW6TMH0nJFFwM_o8Ao/s320/20170109_004058.png" width="320" /> </a> </div>
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Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-62414514613977523592016-11-28T03:09:00.000-08:002016-11-28T03:18:14.422-08:00Jesus Christ;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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this took me back. fresh beginnings; new smiles. </div>
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old friends & forgotten lyrics/</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
this song took me back. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
he wasn't hers anymore but he still showed me the songs that reminded him.</div>
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and here we are. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
this took me back because i'm back.</div>
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the darkness isn't as scary anymore </div>
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maybe it's because i know when i turn around,</div>
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i'm going to see that he's always been right behind me.</div>
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transported back in time; slingshot me to what's to come. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
this song took me back to you. <br />
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Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-82807455420101041822016-10-11T04:54:00.000-07:002016-10-11T04:56:02.191-07:00Me; Myself; I;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>and i want a moment to be real;</i><br />
<i> </i>you can run in circles all you want but you'll never belong. not really anyway. people are so strange and unexpected and predictable and.<br />
and you'll never be able to wear the mask the way they do, and you'll never be able to run away from what you feel and you'll never let them take advantage of you.<br />
the way you speak/ the clothes you wear/ the blood in your veins; it's not theirs.<br />
and it doesn't have to be.<br />
<br />
i'll never let anyone change me. not anymore. <br />
if this year has taught me anything, it's that no one can be trusted and no one can make me love myself any less. you were good for laughs but i don't need your toxic venom in my life, i really don't.<br />
it dragged me down, it made me question myself in ways i really didn't even care about, it was sad.<br />
<i>i'm sorry that i said goodbye</i>, but i found something better along the way.<br />
and i'm walking alone from here on out. </div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-378210694853510752016-10-07T03:42:00.000-07:002016-10-07T03:50:42.276-07:00Engima;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>bless my darkness; bless my light.</i><br />
i've finally found it. tangible/here/there/mine.<br />
gone. (cryptic?)<br />
i've found it. have you?</div>
Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2992761109746545713.post-61955910686596467292016-08-07T12:45:00.001-07:002016-08-07T12:49:42.785-07:00Answered;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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is this what you were trying to say?</div>
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Mixtapes&Heartacheshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09511109178023870730noreply@blogger.com0