"wrap me up in lavender thunder;"

Monday, May 18, 2015

Storytime;

there was a lake. mythical & strange & shrouded in mysterious mysteries. and there was a girl, and there was a boy, and they were the best of friends. as children, they were warned to stay far, far away from the terrible lake, but as kids usually do, they did not listen. everyday at lunch, the girl would bring sandwiches & books and the boy his guitar & lemonade. and everyday, they'd sit just a little bit closer to the magnanimous water. and as time crept on, and the kids became older, they too grew closer. a love blossomed. innocent & pure, unheard of in quite some time in the lands they lived in. they did not care for riches and fame, only for the delight of each others company. and these children (for children they still were) forgot about the dangers of the lake. the stories they were once told, of illustrious silver-blue liquid that stole away your fears and dreams, of golden knights slayed by its sanguineous nature, of Nordic heroes falling into its treachery. for the lake was no ordinary lake, as i'm sure you've come to realize. filled with curses & spells of ancient times, it drew in those kind & bright of heart; the strong willed & adventurous; the cruel & skeptical. you see, it feasted on emotions; a toe in the water as it swirled systemically into the fool who dared venture too close. up & up & up it would sway and splash until nothing was left but a turquoise-tinged scaly fish. turquoise being for fear. opaque pearl for madness, sapphire for melancholy, garnet for bravery, so on & so forth. the waves crashed, the warriors succumbed and the children remained. as it were, the children were the epitome of emotion, for try as it might, the lake never did conquer illusive love. it was just one of those things, you know, those unattainable & disastrous things you can always reach for but, like the water itself, never hold. the lake needed it, for love was the strongest of all feelings; a mixture of everything and anything: fear, anxiety, rage, elation, hypocrisy, desire, passion...it had it all. love was the all encompassing sensation, love is love, all you need is love. without it, you have not lived and with it, well then you're the luckiest of them all. the lake was not so lucky and it was tired, tired of yearning & dreaming of what was so close yet farther than ever. it set a plan in motion; with every breeze, every drop of rain & clap of thunder, the lake would unleash all its power to lure in the unsuspecting lovers. and lure it did. the children crept closer, the lake pined for all they had, the cycle unrelenting.
and one day, had the lake not focused all its energy on them, it wouldn't have noticed the ripples made by the boy slowly walking past its shores, into its heart, deeper and deeper, the girl screaming bloody murder behind him. stuck in a transcendental trance, he walked on until there was no where else to walk. she followed.
and one day, two small & figurine amethyst hued fish, the only of their kind, appeared to swim infinitely in the lake's center.
one day, the lake found love. 

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Puzzles;

does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me? there's a white noise as she walks. it's dark and lonely but the stars are out. does that make it less lonely? there's a strong wind, but she doesn't mind. it's late and probably dangerous, but she doesn't mind. the impending sense of a possible adventure makes her feel alive. maybe running will get her going again. she has moods. violent and thrashing, solitary tears in the night, smiles from ear to ear. she's missing something. all those books, all those years of wasted smarts and she still can't figure it out. figure it all out. there's a deceptive link; sometimes she thinks she's got it and in moments it's gone. it wasn't really there anyway. when she sees him, she thinks she's found it. not the solution to her problems but rather the reason that dims their fire. he's a different kind of fire. slow and burning and comforting. he engulfs her but lets her breathe. she laughs, smiling at the ground. how strange life is. how weird and confusing and breathtakingly beautiful. try and try as she might she just cannot fathom why he doesn't see the beauty in himself, in his words, in his quiet demeanor. stop, it's silly to think like this. falling like you did before, like you promised you'd never do again. the others around her, they don't get it. no one gets it. alone again, that's what she is. oh well.
is this the end of the moment or just a beautiful unfolding
Of a love that will never be or maybe be?


Monday, May 4, 2015

Beach Waves & Sun Rays;

i'll sing you a song i think you'll like. the grass seeps into my bare back, leaving imprints to scatter on my skin. they remind me of you. it's blazing today, the sun shines overhead and the multitudes soak it up like water to a cloth. it all reminds me of you. she told me i need to loosen up, give leeway. be less harsh. silly, i know. why should i change? i think everyone's an idiot and disappointing and a waste of my time, and they know it too. am i wrong? am i building indestructible principles on pillars of sand? the waves are coming to knock them down, crash into all i know. i can feel them, tide by tide, i'm sinking into where water meets sand and it's all very quick and squishy. the sea smells of salt and sweetness, the never ending paradoxes of where we are today. who do i want? who do i need? where did all the love go? i don't know, i don't know.